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Love lies.

And I was never in love.
I will deny it every time you ask.
I will say "No."
I will say "It didn't mean anything."
I will say "I'm fine."

Love lies
In your fingertips as you trace
The curves of my body,
Memorizing every turn.
And I was happy.

But suddenly I'm screaming and
Holding my head in my hands
Because I can't remember how to breathe.
And I'm pounding my dashboard because
I can't handle listening to this song anymore.
But I don't like the silence.

Love lies,
And I didn't ask for this.
I didn't mean to spit my heart out so close
To your feet because you keep stepping on it,
And I don't think you even realize it.

I don't want to lean into your words
As they fall from your soft lips
Because I know that they're false.
And it makes me angry as hell.

I guess what I'm saying is:
I don't need you.
I don't want you.
I was never yours.

Love lies.

And I was never in love.
I will deny it every time you ask.
I will say "No."
I will say "It didn't mean anything."
I will say "I'm fine."
I have nothing left to say.

9/17/12
EDIT:
My goodness! I just wanted to thank all of you for all of your support! It means so much to me. Thank you all for reading. :)
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:iconxistormix:
XIStormIX Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2013   Digital Artist
Very emotional and very deep.  I loved it.  Bravo!  Your spin with words is amazing. 
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconxistormix:
XIStormIX Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2013   Digital Artist
You are so very welcome!  :D
Reply
:iconjustdeva:
justdeva Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2013
wow!
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2013  Student Writer
:) thanks!
Reply
:iconmagicaljoey:
MagicalJoey Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012   Writer
I will be critiquing this piece on behalf of
:icongrammarnazicritiques:

Firstly, I like the way you tie the title in with the rest of the piece, without it giving away too much of what your piece is about.

Now, the crit:
:bulletred: ST = Stanza
:bulletred: L = Line

I love how you switch from 'happy in love' in ST 2 to 'something went wrong' in ST 3.

I'm guessing that the 'song' mentioned in ST 3 is the song of the couple, and that the silence is how their relationship has turned out. Just a guess though (because I suck at guessing).

After ST 3 things take a turn for the 'painful' part of love, and I like the difference between ST 2 and the rest of the piece.

I love the image of spitting out one's heart. It's very original.

As previously mentioned in another comment, I like the repetition of ST 1 as the final ST. It sums things up nicely, as having it as ST 1 and then going into ST 2 makes one know something is going to go wrong, but having it at the end concludes and explains it all with more clarity.

Your use of enjambment it great, as is your use of punctuation.

Your imagery is great and one can picture what is happening during the piece as one reads through it.

Overall:
A very emotional piece that tells a great story and is well written.

:star::star::star::star::star:
Jo
Reply
:iconphillipskid32:
phillipskid32 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
When you write about love, there are so many directions you can go. I felt that the direction you went was very original, you present what love is with a very calm attitude, but I also pick up resentment. I also love(no lie) the repetition of the first and last stanza, it's as if your being given a reminder of the cruelties of love.
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you! And thanks for taking the time to give me feedback. I appreciate it. :)
Reply
:iconha-heeprime:
Ha-HeePrime Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This is amazing. So powerful. Way to not mince or waste words. Glad I found and read it.
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconstarkpretty:
Starkpretty Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012
<3 couldn't have put it better myself.

I love the dashboard moment.
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconlobech2012:
lobech2012 Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2012
wow que lindo!
Reply
:iconcatchaotica:
catchaotica Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautifully written :D
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you :)
Reply
:iconsquiddy-chan:
Squiddy-chan Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012
This is beautifully written!
I like it a lot!
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconsquiddy-chan:
Squiddy-chan Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012
Ah, you're welcome! ^_^
Reply
:iconbrookecphotography:
BrookeCPhotography Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Totally. Featuring. This.
You took everything that I think of about a couple certain people,and wrote it. I praise you. Thanks for writing this. :)
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you so much! And thank you for reading! :)

Also, I have a stupid question: What's a feature? Hahaha
Reply
:iconbrookecphotography:
BrookeCPhotography Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
No problem. :3

Featuring is when someone shares something to other people,(And also tells a little compliment about it) so they can check it out themselves,and favorite and comment on it. :D
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Student Writer
Ah! Well thanks! You'll have to send me the link when you do. :)
Reply
:iconcant-draw-for-crap:
cant-draw-for-crap Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012
This is an amazing piece. This reminds me of myself now. I do deny that I was ever in love with someone every time someone asks about him...
Reply
:iconcant-draw-for-crap:
cant-draw-for-crap Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012
I meant DA Love, not flirty -_-
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Student Writer
Bahahaha! It made me laugh haha.
And thank you!
Reply
:icon1nkl1ng:
1nkl1ng Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012
Quite beautiful.
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Student Writer
Thanks!
Reply
:iconcanis44:
Canis44 Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Student Writer
This is quite excellent, it somewhat reminds me of Pablo Neruda one of my favorite poets. He has a poem called "Tonight I can write the saddest lines", your poem reminds me of it.
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you! And I'll have to read it!
Reply
:iconmissanimestranger:
missanimestranger Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Wow! So deep and true.
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Student Writer
Thanks!
Reply
:iconmissanimestranger:
missanimestranger Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
no prob
Reply
:iconweblameyou:
WeBlameYou Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Very well written...
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you. :)
Reply
:iconweblameyou:
WeBlameYou Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome ^^
Reply
:iconkikiyo-uchiha:
kikiyo-uchiha Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012
Beautifully written. I do believe many people can relate this this poem. I know I do
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you. :)
And I feel sorry for the people who can relate... It's not a fun feeling.
Reply
:iconkikiyo-uchiha:
kikiyo-uchiha Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012
It's not. But I try to stay positive. Afterall, after every storm is a rainbow :)
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Student Writer
That's a good way to be. :)
Reply
:iconvalleyviolet:
valleyviolet Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Hobbyist
Very sad. This reminds me of how I felt when my life fell apart in college. ;_;
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Student Writer
We have this in common. I just started my freshman year, and after two weeks everything went wrong.
Reply
:iconvalleyviolet:
valleyviolet Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Hobbyist
Hang in there. Try to focus on school and make different friends. It gets better, I promise. :iconsadhugplz:
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Student Writer
I know it will get better. I'm just trying to get through the suckiness first haha.
Reply
:iconunnaturaladdicted:
UnnaturalAddicted Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
How much I know this feeling...
But I could never have decribed such a disgusting thing in such a beautiful way. Congrats
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Student Writer
Why, thank you. :)
Reply
:iconunnaturaladdicted:
UnnaturalAddicted Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats for the poem, of course not for being in the situation you seem to be.
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2012  Student Writer
Haha, thank you.
Reply
:iconanimalcrossingbiskit:
animalcrossingbiskit Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Huggy Mc supporterson!
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Student Writer
Hahaha! :)
Reply
:iconmsmysteriousstranger:
Thank you for writing this.
Reply
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September 16, 2012
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