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I Hope You Haven'tHave you ever
Felt pain to the point
You are entirely numb
And can no longer tell
Nor care
That you are not breathing?

Have you ever
Been so hopelessly in love
That when he was gone
You were left with a hole
Where your heart should be?

Has the idea of happiness
Ever seemed so far away
That you thought
You would never reach it?

Have you ever
Thought you were worthless
So much that you
Lost the desire for life?

I hope you haven't felt the way I did.

I Am WishingI am wishing I wasn't alone,
That my brain would shut off,
That people would listen
When I whisper the undeniable truth.
But if no one listens
Then who the hell cares?

I am wishing that you were here
To smother my nightmares
And make me feel like I am safe.
If they can't see what I see
When I close my eyes
Then is it really there?

I am wishing that you still loved me,
That you would feel more for me
Than you do for her,
But I will never be good enough.
If you hold me and say everything is fine
Will it be a lie?

And I just wish you would say something
Because the silence screams
More truth than I can take.
And I just

Perspective is the KeyDark Romantic

Castle of sadness
Immense in its form
Longs for the yearning
Desperate of old.
Give me the sorrow,
Give me the world.

Romantic

Are you my savior?
It's not what it seems
With each breathing moment
and each heaving mean,
The world brings tomorrow
with beautiful seams.

Naturalist

A dead generation;
is what we all hold.
But each law will pass,
while each lie is told.
So wait for tomorrow
and its coming remorse.

ListenCan you hear me
Listen
Listen to my cries
Hear me
Feel my pain
See your neglect
Understand what you've put me through
Hear me roar
My anger bouncing off the wall
My sadness ringing in
Your deaf ears
Can't you hear me
Do you just not care
Listen to me
Listen
Don't walk away
I'm not finished
If only you'd hear me
If only I could make you see
Why won't you listen
Why don't you care
Do you not see the tears
I'm shedding
You're the one that's made to care
It's your job
Why can't you just listen

Maybe you can't hear me
Yeah
That's it
I'm just not loud enough

Self-InflictedSelf-Inflicted

I just hate myself.
  I hate the life that I lead.
    I hate the things that I've done.
      I keep trying to figure out.

       Where it is exactly that I went wrong.
    No matter how hard I try to evade
  And blame others for my actions.
At some point I am forced to accept.

  That the problem resides within me
    And the answer remains absent.
      I am the common dominator.
        I am

The future of yesterdayI don't know about the future, so I look into the past.
But what was yesterday, and the day before? Time goes so fast.
Quicker and quicker the time flies, the future is the past.
I don't know where to look, all the impressions come so fast.

Where are we now? This is a future, it is a past, it's present day.
With all the things I think about, this I still cannot say.
Yesterday is in the past, but it wasn't long ago, it feels like today.
What the future brings, nobody knows. What was the past, we can say.

The future is like the past, and the past is like the future.
It is all knitted close into each other, it is like a suture.
For how

When I'm GoneI want to tell you something although I
Don’t know why I even try.
You were never the type who liked
To listen to what was on my mind,
But I’ll just keep talking anyway.
Maybe this time I’ll get through.

Here’s the thing:
I want to be the reason why
You can’t sleep at night,
Or the reason you don’t eat.
I want you to feel that twist
In your stomach when you see
Something that reminds you of me.

I want you to know the
Feeling of a heart that has been torn.
It beats in your chest, but it still isn't
Enough to convince you that you’re alive.
I want you to feel emptiness every
Time you realize tha

Lie To MeFingertips lace around my ribs
And pull at my skin
As my breath catches
At the coolness of your touch.

Calm these trembling hands
And hold them tight in yours.
I'll move my lips on yours
Just so you don't have to.

Hearts beat faster and
My breath shudders with insecurity.
Press my body close to yours
So I don't shatter into fragments.

Lie to me one more time.
Tangle your legs in mine,
Brush your lips along my neck.
Make me feel alive.

The World of My DreamsOut of the grass sprang gentle hands
that carried me over a field of clovers
And I drifted beneath the clouds,
gazing in the idle wonder
that creeps upon men like curling ivy

There was no bluer sky than that day,
and the trees-
there have never been more hearty trees
than the giant oaks towering above me
as the hands carried me further-

And when I awoke in this mysterious land,
I breathed in the scent of moist grass,
relieved to find that it was not just a dream,
and that the world in which I lived
was as beautiful as the world of my dreams

We Will Never BeI met you on August 18th of 2008.
I remember how hot it was in the classroom
That day and how your eyes widened with confusion
As I sat down next to you.
I will never forget those eyes.

You loved Mondays and dreaded Fridays.
I thought you were crazy and you told
Me that the only reason was so you
Could see me in school.
I still thought you were crazy.

We would do our math assignments on the
Playground and talk about our lives.
We were so different, but you always
Insisted that we were absolutely perfect.
I wish I would have known how right you were.

--

I miss you so much that I can't sleep.
But I have to keep moving b

Perfectionist ComplexI know I can never be perfect.
I know I can never win.
I know that.
I do.
But why do I always try so hard?
To strive to perfection, that's all I want.
Why can't I just be normal?
Why can't I be like everyone else?
Who laugh.
Who cry.
No.
That's all the same.
Laughing and crying are all the same things.
I can't be perfect.
I know that now.
I will be perfectly imperfect.
i Am PeRFeCt

DreamsWhat wonders the imagination can bring
With opened ear and untamed eye
Dreams that we shall toss and fling
And float about towards the sky

By luminous light of thought
Day and night will awaken newly
And become what you have sought
To find your most distant Thule

Never letting go of that which we cherish
The spirit of innocence and truth
Why without it, what would we but perish?
In the darkness of lost youth

I Can't Hear You AnymoreThe clouds are heavy tonight,
And I am suffocating,
Choking on my own words
As they fly from my mouth.

You never cared about yourself,
And after your death that
Became hard to think about.
(But I do anyway.)

I suddenly find myself missing
The years we had spent together
And how spider webs would form in
The corners of your eyes when you smiled.

But the thing is that I can’t hear you anymore.
I can’t remember the sound
Of your voice or the feeling of
Your hands as they touched my lips.

You once told me that home
Is where you lie,
But I hate it here, and
I hate living with these ghosts.

ArtArt.

Imagine...

The world is your canvas.

Society is your paint brush.

The people are your choice of colours.

What kind of picture would you paint?

How would it differ from the image that is currently on show?

Would you go mad and rid yourself from all forms of restraint?

Just how far down the rabbit hole are you willing to go?

I ask because every portrait I create,

Is inspired by what is already in front of me.

So is it possible to even recreate,

Anything that the mind is not able to see.

The picture will always be the same

Because this life is all we know.

Where there is compassion there must be pain

Because it us who made

SecretsWhile the welcomed with open arms
The others must not ever know
Hiding inside my mind
Afraid of my own shadow

I kept it alive
A small flicker of a ghost of a flame
It became sickened and deathly
From my hatred and shame

Secrets are best kept away
Hidden in a box inside a dark cave
Because in our brains
They'll fester and grow, driving us insane

Sliding off to sleep
My friends off to sleep as well
Getting up to for school
It's become a living hell

But it'd be worse
If someone knew my secret
I'd be forced to my knees
So I guess I'll just have to keep it

Secrets are best kept away
Hidden in a box inside a dark cave
Because

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More from ~DeadOrSleeping

Hurt MeHurt me.
Paint the floors a violent red.
Give me the scars that make them
Wonder.

Hit me.
Mix the purple and blue undertones
That destroy my body.
The colors that I try to hide.

Make me a fool.
A fool to think that
I can trust anyone.
It's a lie.

Scream.
Tell me what I am, and not who.
Scream until I cry.
And make me wish for an end.

Kill me.
It would be the only good thing
You've ever done for me.
But you're not that kind.

A PromiseIt's Monday and I'm trembling.
Walking and drowning in the mess of faces.
My breath quickens as my stomach flips,
Begging to spill its contents.
I do not exist here.

But I catch your glance as you
Give me your usual half-smile.
I had wanted to sit next to you so badly
That night, but I wrapped my arms around
My legs instead.

And of all the promises I break,
I promise you that I mean nothing.
I'm not as whole as I should be.
I love too much, and they each have
Made a tear in my heart.

And it makes me cry.

I keep waiting for you to remember
That I'm not deserving of you.
That I will just let you steal
A piece of me as I

LosingAnd when you lay in your bed tonight
Without tears in your eyes
Thinking about how you don't want me,
Know that I'm trying to breathe
Even though it doesn't help fill
The hole in my chest.

And when you close your eyes to sleep,
Know that I am alone and curled up
In a ball trying to keep myself together.
Sleep will not be so easy when
When you're not in my sheets.

And when you dart your eyes away
From me in the halls, know that
It kills me on the inside.
As if losing you wasn't enough,
But you have to hate me too.

And when you think about me,
Know that you are all I see when
I close my eyes. I can't help
But to remember

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Submitted: October 7, 2012
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I'm Still Here

by ~DeadOrSleeping, Oct 7, 2012, 7:58:24 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

I am screaming again and
Throwing my fists into my mattress.
I am laying here trying so hard
To be something more than this.

My sheets are crumpled from
Being horribly wide awake
And restlessly unconscious,
But they still smell like you.
And it is achingly cruel.

I don't believe I will die,
But I do believe in reckless behavior
Because as hard as I try I
Will never be good enough for you.

My hands don't fit in yours
But I keep trying to force them to.
And I know you will let me
Because I am weak and I
Will undress when you ask me to,
But I really hope you don't.

I am screaming again and
It shakes my bones.
I scream until my voice breaks
And there is nothing left.

I am hollow.
I am empty.
I am too far gone.