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Stop.
I need you to stop what you're doing
And listen to me for a second.
I need you to understand my words
Even though they fall carelessly from my lips.
It will only take a few minutes, I promise.

I need you to know that I love you,
And that I always have.
I cared for you more than myself.
Nothing else matter as long as
You were there to comfort me,
And I thank you for that.

I think you should know that when I
Woke up this morning my first thoughts
Were of you, as they are every morning.
I wanted to know how you felt,
If you were okay,
If you were thinking of me…

Now for the hard part:
I need you to know that I don't want this.
Because it completely blindsided me.
I was suddenly picked up out of this universe
And thrown into another.
And now I am constantly needing a reminder of how to breathe.

I did not ask for this.
I could have picked someone better;
Someone who would wrap their arms
Around my waist and mean it when
They say that everything is okay,
But I didn't. I didn't choose.

I want you to know that I miss you
Every single second of every single day,
But I don't want this anymore.
I don't want to worry about when I
Will see you next, or whether or not
You'll feel like talking to me today.

I need you to know that I'm finally gone
Because I don't want to be stuck in the why's anymore.
I need you to know that I'm terrified
Because I don't remember what life is without you.
Lastly, I need you to know that despite everything,
I will never forget the feel of my hand in yours.
I cried while writing this.

I know you'll probably read it.
I'm sorry.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconkillzonekrissy:
killzonekrissy Featured By Owner May 25, 2014
oh my god, this is amazing!! and sad.... :( so sad....  but completely right-on! You are an incredible writer!
Thank you for articulating this feeling so well, I never thought in a million years I would feel that way too, but, well, here we are! And is it ever a gut-wrenching miserable feeling.  But you make that feeling seem pretty beautiful. :)
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner May 26, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you so much! I really need to post some more of my latest work . It's a lot less depressing. :)
Reply
:icondr-vergissmeinnicht:
Dr-Vergissmeinnicht Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hi There! I will be critiquing this on behalf of :icongrammarnazicritiques:

First Impressions
I think you did a nice job writing this and I definitely understand why you cried while writing this piece; I as the reader was able to feel your emotion as I read.

Minor Corrections
Even though this piece is poetry, it still has to typically follow the same rules as regular writing. What I mean is not every line has to start with a capital when it is part of the previous sentence. Where ever you have a comma the word after it should not be capitalized because it is all one sentence. But since this is free verse, it is really up to you to make that change or not.

In the second stanza you write, "Nothing else matter as long as" "matter" should be changed to "Mattered." since you are writing in the past tense in this section.

You always need to watch out for your tense. In the first stanza you write in present and then you switch to past tense halfway through the second stanza. The tense change isn't that major but you do it throughout your piece, so I would just watch for that in the future.

Overall
I really liked what you did with this piece and I think you nailed the emotion. Just take my corrections into consideration and know that they are only suggestions :)
Reply
:iconassureastheskyisblue:
I wish I could write the way you do. If I could articulate my words as well as you it wouldn't have taken me so long to say something. This is incredibly emotional and beautiful :hug:
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you! And I'm sure you can write beautifully! I could help you out if you ever want me to :)
Reply
:iconassureastheskyisblue:
Ohwow, thankyou!!
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2013  Student Writer
:D
Reply
:iconnisakine:
Nisakine Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013
i've been here before. i love your work :)
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Student Writer
Thanks!
Reply
:iconactsofart:
ActsofArt Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
very emotional! this is sad but written in a lovely way.
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Student Writer
Thanks! :D
Reply
:iconretrubutionist777:
Retrubutionist777 Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is very very beautiful. In fact it reminds me of a situation I'm dealing with right now. This poem is eerily familiar. :huggle: But I'm so sorry you had to go through this!
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you! And I'm sorry you did too.
Reply
:iconlittlenikita:
littlenikita Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012  Student Artist
Your writing piece motivated me a little to scream out my lungs too, well done.
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you! :)
Reply
:iconlittlenikita:
littlenikita Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012  Student Artist
You are very welcome :)
Reply
:iconhaniajedi:
HaniaJedi Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It's sad, but awesome job!
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Student Writer
Thanks!
Reply
:iconhaniajedi:
HaniaJedi Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconskysetting:
Skysetting Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Really shows how painful reality can be. Simply amazing work!
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you! :)
Reply
:iconskysetting:
Skysetting Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
No prob :)
Reply
:iconfrei76:
frei76 Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012
just wow! :clap:
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Student Writer
Thanks!
Reply
:icondeathbyskittlez:
DeathbySkittlez Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for sharing, you! :3
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Student Writer
Thanks for reading. :)
Reply
:icondeathbyskittlez:
DeathbySkittlez Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem!
Reply
:iconecoman22:
ecoman22 Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012
Wow...I rarely comment on anything on here, but I was hooked in from the start! I'd applaud you but knowing its out of pain you wrote this I want to put my arm round you! Lol
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it. :D
Reply
:iconecoman22:
ecoman22 Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012
Loved it! Took me back to the days of feeling like that which is a rarity again! lol
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Student Writer
Well, thank you! :) That makes me feel good haha :D
Reply
:iconkiwi-shi:
Kiwi-Shi Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Such feel. I've been in a similar situation and much of my poetry reflects it. I find it is the best way to talk to them without having to fear what they'll think if they read it (which, as far as I know "he" doesn't read poetry which I am forever thankful for).

Btw - I almost cried a little while reading it as well.
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Student Writer
I couldn't agree more. And thank you! :)
Reply
:iconkiwi-shi:
Kiwi-Shi Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem~ ^-^
Reply
:iconlaritaleyoupi:
laritaleyoupi Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
just beautifull .... well done! i wish you to meet someone who ll really care of you as you deserve !
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you! And I hope that too. It'll happen someday..
Reply
:iconnoodlesaddict:
NoodlesAddict Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It's bitter who we all see ourselves in it...
Reply
:iconfatally3103:
Fatally3103 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Silvery honesty.....
Reply
:iconabbysquirrel333:
AbbySquirrel333 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Student General Artist
This is exactly how I've been feeling for the past two months; the man I've been waiting for over a year to be with, dumped me heartlessly after only 3 months, when I thought we were doing so well... and even though I'm dating someone else now, I still miss him terribly. But I'm so close to being able to let him go.
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Student Writer
I know how you feel, and I'm sorry. I know how much it hurts. :( I hope things will get better for you. :)
Reply
:iconfasiafloho3-is-i:
Fasiafloho3-is-I Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
This is beautiful~
Simple and very, painfully open.
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Student Writer
thank you! :)
Reply
:iconschmidtrj:
SchmidtRJ Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Student General Artist
These are the exact words that my heart is going through right now.

It is such a painful experience to love someone, but at the same time, want it to all stop. To not wonder if they are ok. To try to block off that part of your heart. But as you said, you don't get to choose.

This is a beautiful poem and I am thankful that you wrote it.
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you so much! And you pretty much explained my poem perfectly. It is such a painful experience..
Reply
:iconboldlygogirl:
BoldlyGoGirl Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
This beautifully depicts me with my current situation so accurately, so perfectly... It's kind of scary.

Beautifully written. Brought tears to my eyes...!
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Student Writer
I'm sorry you're going through it too. :(
And thank you!
Reply
:iconsilkentracker:
silkentracker Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Very moving. I love this poem, and the emotions it encites. Very well written.
Reply
:icondeadorsleeping:
DeadOrSleeping Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you so much! :)
Reply
:iconsilkentracker:
silkentracker Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome.
Reply
:iconscr1b3:
Scr1b3 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You wrote this sooo well. I know how this feels. Except that I will never be able to escape.
Reply
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